NEWS

Hi guys,

Welcome back to my safe haven. I do hope your week has been great and better than mine.

My week has been a rollercoaster of emotions which has got me thinking about how frail and uncertain this life truly is.

Started off the week with the news of a close friend who lost his mum. She was pretty young at heart and even in her physique. I am one to brag about the access of rights to my friends' mothers as it is always easy to warm up to them and just embrace and suck on all the motherly love they have to give. Let's not forget the juicy gist.

While still putting my thoughts together to extend my condolence to my friend, I found on another friend's WhatsApp status that she had lost a friend and sister - someone who gave her access, friendship, and support while at the beginning stage of her career. And as I was still trying to picture what having a senior friend and support system would have done for me at the start of my career and put my mind to understanding how she felt, I found out on a Whatsapp group that I belong to, that another friend had lost his mum in the past month. The burial was within the week and I didn't know. The most painful part for me was that I had actually reached out to him at the beginning of the new year to wish him a Happy new year without knowing that he was hurting and trying to place his thoughts around going through the year with a shift and major change in life.

3 mothers, sisters, and friends took a bow out of this life we so cherish and hold in high regard. A life that some people would trade their last breath to make it in and here I was thinking of how my friends were dealing with and probably wishing they could have their loved ones back with them. Some people spent the last holiday with family and didn't cherish the moments they had or even bother to create new memories with them instead they showed up and went on outings with friends and people who don't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying don't hang out with your friends. What I am trying to bring to light is how much value and how important family is. Family isn't just those related to you by blood. They are those connected to you by pure love, purpose, spirituality, and environment. They are dedicated to your growth, development, and general well-being. These sets of people cannot be bought with money cause most times you have nothing to offer but they are drawn to you regardless.

Mothers are the baseline upon which we hang as humans. Both biological and nonbiological mothers give us the push (whether soft or hard); the encouragement; the cheers in our high moments, and the tears in our down moments, they are there to open doors for us, mention our names where it matters the most, give the hardest knocks (both literally and with their words) and pray for us at all times. They want to know if we have eaten, what we have eaten, who made the meal, and how it was made even if there is little to nothing they can do about the situation if it is negative.

Mothers are a gift to us. And if you still have your mother with you, a big sister who plays the role of a mother for you or even a friend who is like a mother - love on her, spoil her, gist with her, assist her around the house even if she sends you on one million errands in a day, buy her gifts, make her smile, call her on video calls, compliment her, take her out. These things will make her smile, laugh, and cry and will give you the best memories of time spent with her either virtually or physically.

This wasn't the direction I had in mind when I started writing but then shout out to all the amazing mothers out there. We love you.

To all those who have lost their mothers and strong support system, please be comforted. I know it is easy for me to stay here and tell you to take heart like the random cliche people use. But I'll tell you the same thing I told my gee "when you get the urge to cry- do let the tears flow. Don't hold back. If you feel like shouting, by all means, scream your lungs out, If you aren't feeling an outward emotional outburst yet, then take a pen and notepad and write out how you feel. Don't hold back."

As much as we all want to be macho and put up a front, the reality is that we are first human and emotional. Don't choke on your emotions. Let it all out. Talk to a friend if you want to. But don't get swarmed up. This is only a phase. Even though I would like to tell you that this will pass, the truth is that it will hurt for a long while. You will need to adjust to routines without your loved ones - the weekly and or daily calls, the group chats, the scolding when you post some mummy-rated images on your social media pages, the credit alerts, and the food items they send weekly or monthly. The vacuum will be there and very visible too. Not to be a woe-taler but this phase will pass after a while.

Finally dear friend, live through the hurt and the pain. Smile when the memories pop-up. Write and acknowledge the emotions felt. You will be alright friend. All will be fine.

I love you dearly and I am praying for you.

Cheers to the weekend.